yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i want to swaddle you in tequila
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Come share oat with me in your robe
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
