she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
