the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
