We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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