Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
