She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
accomplished twins. life is a go
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
