well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
