This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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