Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
