Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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