I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
It's just like the Real World with babies
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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