So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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