apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
