btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
