so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
