do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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