Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
