I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
