My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
