Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
