we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
