Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
