This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
