porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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