Too much gin, very little bucket
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I will be naked everywhere
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
