Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
