I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
