I am in a vortex of obligation.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
