It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
