He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
