yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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