Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
