Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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