she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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