remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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