I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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