When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
