shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Say something about gay babies.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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