You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
