I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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