I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
