i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
