i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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