we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
