He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
i need some magic done to my vagina
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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