my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
