so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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