It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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