soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
