He asked me if I "almost moaned"
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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